I have kids in school, and one thing I cannot stand is a bully. Whenever any of us see one child bullying another, I feel like we all have the knee jerk reaction to step in and stop it. This is good! No one should be allowed to put someone down, but what should we do when we are the ones bullying ourselves?
As a boutique owner, I see beautiful women everyday struggle with being their own bullies. It breaks my heart to see women tearing themselves down, and it is our mission at Grey Barn to lift up every single person who walks through our front door.
I’m not perfect at keeping my thoughts positive either. If you know me personally, you know that I have struggles with keeping negative self talk at bay for myself sometimes, but it is important to always keep trying. If you’re struggling with being your own worst bully, here are a few tips to help you overcome those negative thoughts.
Acknowledge Negative Self Talk
If you begin thinking negatively about yourself, take a moment to pause and acknowledge it. Research has shown that just acknowledging negative self-talk can help reduce its frequency. Identifying negative thoughts is the first step in separating beautiful fact versus negative fiction.
Lower The Intensity
It is hard to stop negative self talk all at once, but you can actively work to reduce its intensity. One strategy is to catch yourself in the negative thought, and then reword it out loud to something more neutral. Instead of “I hate my thighs”, you can downgrade the intensity to a more neutral “my thighs are not my favorite feature”. This will allow you to begin chipping away at your negative self thought habits.
Do To Yourself As You Do Unto Others
Most of us would never allow a loved one to be bullied, and we should not put up with it for ourselves either. One way to stop negative self talk in its tracks is to frame the saying as if it were for a loved one. For me, I like to think of my best friend. If the thought is not something I would ever want to say about her, then it has no room in my head either.
I hope these tips help you kick your mental bully to the curb. Everyone deserves grace, even from themselves, and we here at Grey Barn will always be cheering you on.